He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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