I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize