what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize