Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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