She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
