the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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