No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
