Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This house was built for laser tag.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
