I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
