Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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