I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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