Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
