Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
