Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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