well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
