At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
