he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
