If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
