Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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