Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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