Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize