ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
