I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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