Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
