Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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