Pappa wants mamma naked
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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