clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
