Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
