Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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