A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
