nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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