I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
