he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
