I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
