White coat. Heels.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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