so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
