I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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