I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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