My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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