we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
