so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
