That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
