Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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