You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
