we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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