Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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