Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
