doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
