i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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