I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
