i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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