What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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