You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
