i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
