i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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