roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
