Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
