Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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