Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
