I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
