I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
