dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
