Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The adults are the big ones right?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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