i don't like sucking hair
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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