I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize