Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
