Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
