Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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