i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We need to rekindle our bromance
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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