Are we in a gay sports bar?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
